I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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