11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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