Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I need water and some morals
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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