The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
