Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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