it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
