Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
