Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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