the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize