i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
