you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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