Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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