I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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