you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
