I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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