I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
