i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
