so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
