it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
