I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
