who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
