that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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