If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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