Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just invented taco cereal.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
