theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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