Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
