Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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