It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
