Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I will die if light touches me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
