Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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