At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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