She's JV to your varsity
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
