Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
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I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize