What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
this will be a night to untag.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
