Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
