I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
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I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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