Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think my fart just growled at me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
