U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
