Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
