You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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