Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
