is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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