I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
