508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
