the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
