whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
