tell your sister to shave her snatch
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
