He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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