you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Boobs are out for the taking
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
