We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
