Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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