I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
why do cheetos always look like penises
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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