i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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