Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
operation have a gay friend backfired
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
