no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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