I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
