well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
