please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
