I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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