Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
