Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
