No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
