'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
