I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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