We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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