I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
porn star boner night. come get it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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