Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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