It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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