Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
