I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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