Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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