hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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